Musings-I

Oh Darn !

Word of Caution:  For all those who thought this blog would be yet another bickering about the present political chaos in the country or how the left should slap the right, then I am sorry to inform you that the 'x' on the top right corner is the best place to go. This blog is also not some abstract which will require you to warp yourself to a whole new time dimension to understand. I write solely to tell you about the experiences that I face in my journey through life.

This story deals with my encounter with a particular devious taxi driver. It so seems that I have developed rather a knack with the Mumbai public transport system! This story has 3 characters- Mr. Romeo, Mr. Goatee and me (original names changed for no apparent purpose). The episode starts with our Romeo wanting to surprise his girl at the airport (with all melodrama) - hence the name. She was to return to Mumbai after a 15 day trip to the south-east. So Romeo suddenly realises that he has to see her after this long gap and decides to meet her at the airport that night in his new car; Goatee and me tag along. For sweet love!

After the love birds met, our Romeo was in high spirits (strictly emotional) because Juliet liked this unexpected encounter and the bounty of love for this crazy dude expanded even further. On our way back we were caught up in a choke-a-block traffic jam just outside a very famous hotel. We were stranded on one side of the road with cars lined up till the naked eye could see. It began to drizzle. In this awesome weather the three of us sat in the car smiling like idiots, reminiscing in our own thoughts;

Romeo thinking about the split second that he got to see Juliet,

Goatee lost in his thoughts on a new hairstyle to suit his goatee and

Me pondering over my existence on this planet.

Ssscccccreeeeeeecccchhhhhh !!!!

Then we heard this horrible grotesque sound, much like a drunk cat singing the tunes of a very nasal singer. Before we analysed what had happened we saw a very ancient taxi bobbing to and fro in front of us with a huge piece of metallic junk towed at the back. I got out of the car to check the damage and to my shock the car was entirely naked below the bonnet at the front. It was not junk behind the taxi, it was our car’s bumper! What the...!

Flashback: Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no stopping his way. As if to prove this point, the driver who was some 20 feet behind us, turned his taxi and jumped over the pavement and drove along with ‘dhoom machale’ blasting on his radio. When he came close to our car he had to dodge a bench on the pavement, and in this pursuit he nudged our vehicle and his back bumper got jammed into our front bumper and then began the sweet sounds of melancholy.

I got out of the car, sleeves rolled up, all ready to confront the stuntman, half afraid that the driver might be some long lost cousin of Dara Singh. To my wonderment out came a tiny little figure which boosted my confidence significantly. I cornered him and started with my ranting, all my frustration focused and ready for deployment. I looked back for support. There lay my Romeo- on his knees, hands on his head, half scared of a big black dog licking his foot and half scared imagining what his father might look like when he sees the car which now looked like an old man without dentures; and then there was goatee- still in the car, undisturbed and serene, calmly continuing his analysis on his new hairdo.

The taxi driver played the blame game initially but as his chances got slimmer tried to use the much acclaimed ‘garib hoon bhaisahab, 3 bacche hai mere, maaf kar do’ card. But I remained undeterred in my mission to vent. Out of the blue came a cool cab driver to the stuntman’s rescue. He tried to calm the situation with his practical advice and succeeded in convincing me as well (actually because no one else needed convincing; my two mates had lost hope long back.) Now Romeo could now be seen with his head on Goatee’s shoulders, Goatee, mind you, is still tripping over his hairstyle.

By now the traffic started to move as well. We decided that it was best in everyone’s interest that we search for a mechanic and get the thing fixed right away! The cool-cab driver happened to have expertise in this area as well and had apparent ‘contacts’ nearby. So I unhooked the bumper from the taxi and called out to my friends. Those few moments were enough for the taxi driver to sit in the car and bolt off in style. The cool cab driver ran off as well.

So I stood there with this very heavy bumper in my hand covered with muck. A lot of things came to my mind as I saw the taxi zoom and zigzag its way out of there, but at that moment all I could say was,

“Oh Darn!”