Musings- III

When 'RAGE' takes over

(800+ words, 5 minutes read)

Since I have pledged on this journey to find interesting people from the Indian public transport system, let me continue my tale to this very amusing personality I had an opportunity to meet. 

Conductor. It was only until I was in the fourth standard, did I realise that it was the copper wires that my teacher was referring at when she pointed upwards, and not the khaki-ed dude I saw in the bus. I always wondered how he could carry so much 'electricity' in his bag and too on the floor above ours. Weird.

This particular incident happened when I was in college. Surathkal or rather Mangalore redefines the term 'road-rage' to a whole new dimension. A place where the public bus transport system is controlled privately, everyday is a fight to carry as many passengers as possible and to make maximum out of it obviously. The buses start on the third gear and set records when it comes to the braking distance.
Overtaking ?Naansense. 

It’s more of Why-isn't-the-dumdum-not-going-faster? or 

What-if-there-is-a-cow-in front-of-him? and to top it all, 

If-there-is-enough-space-to-walk-then-its-enough-for-the-bus!

But I happened to meet Mr.Rajkumar (because they were playing the great actor's hit number 'If you come today, you're early' on the radio) on a lazy Sunday afternoon on my way back to the hostel from the city. Being an April afternoon, when the temperature soars to an alarming 40 degrees, the bus wasn't as crowded as it usually would be. I took my ticket from RK and jumped onto a seat 2-3 rows from the driver's seat, plugged on my earphones and let my mind drift.

Half way through my ride, I glanced at the driver and saw that he was driving rather strangely, chest swelling up and down and fists gripped tight and to top it all, RK dancing around him, in hips don't lie fashion, clearly excited about something. I first thought that it might be a new kolavardi routine that I wasn't aware of. But then I saw this plastic bottle being flung from the opposite truck and BAMMM! Right on the driver's head. The truck driver and his cleaner hi-five-ed and sped ahead.

Now, this is definitely not part of the flash mob. 

This is what we know as R.O.A.D-R.A.G.E.

Action. I remove my earphones and I was taken aback by this sudden blast of cacophony. Being a kannadiga, it is 'assumed' that I understand the local language there but when Kannada goes slang, its no different from Japanese. But from the body language of the passengers I figured that the truck driver and our bus driver were not in the best of terms.

Payback. Now it was RK's turn to show his jalwa. As soon as the bus was close to the truck cabin, RK began his volley; which ranged from bottles, caps, broomsticks, scrubbers and even one of his slippers. His dedication is commendable, isn't it? When he finally exhausted his missiles he resorted to the age old master technique that never fails to piss a person off; The Finger^TM! People say love crosses all borders and boundaries, I, however, beg to differ. Try The Finger^TM in any country you wish. It will always work.

Scene. Coming back, we have both the vehicles now heading neck to neck. Surprisingly, NH17 was empty (or probably cleared out for our two heroes.) RK was now leaning out of the window trying to smack the driver of the truck; this was followed by frantic yelling and screaming of a female co-passenger sitting next to me (for a very small personality she had  a very shrill voice.) SLAAAPP! RK was successful in hitting the driver right on his bald patch before he was pulled inside by the passengers inside.But he was not yet content and pleaded for an another chance but the passengers didn't give in.


Comeback. It was the truck's turn now. The cleaner also started catapulting everything he could find in his cabin. Unlike RK he had a secret weapon. His cleaning bucket which was still half full with the dirty mucky water inside. The cleaner very brilliantly emptied the bucket on our bus driver, I speculate to cool him off . Didn't work, too bad. When RK saw this, he was more than furious.He leaned out of the driver's window and pulled the bucket from the cleaner's grip and flung it back on the driver,  leaving the cleaner dazed. The truck sped ahead.


Before the scenario worsened, the passengers overcame the driver and forced him to stop on the side and let the truck pass. RK was not happy with our low zeal. 

We had disappointed him.

Its not everyday that you get to be a part of such an exciting though suicidal contingency. Even for RK with his adventurous spirit and lionhearted-ness, life can be pretty boring and mundane everyday on the same route, standing throughout, daily struggle to find 'change' with almost zero appreciation, so its when these incidents happen that he gets his adrenaline boost. 

All satisfied with my monthly quota of adventure I started walking toward the hostel.
When rage takes over, yeah yeah !